Always
by EmilyWood
Summary: When Lily and James fight, she finds solace in a friend she hasn't spoken to in years.


It was colder than Lily had anticipated when she had fled the house in Godric's Hollow without a coat or even a sweater. She had quickly apparated to Diagon Alley, which hadn't proved to be any warmer.

Before she had slammed the door in James' face, she had scrawled a note and given it to their owl, Tiberius. Lily only hoped, as she stepped inside the Leaky Cauldron, that the owl knew where to find her old friend.

The lamps were turned down low for the night crowd, but Tom greeted her with a smile from behind the bar. "Evening, Mrs. Potter," he said. "What'll it be?"

Lily took a seat at an empty barstool. "Sherry, please," she said. "Make it two."

Tom raised an eyebrow but pulled two snifters from beneath the bar.

Lily's eyes darted to the door as a dark hooded man entered. Her lips curled into a smile for the first time that night. The hood dropped behind his head, revealing the dark hair she hadn't seen in years.

"Severus," she said, the relief evident in her voice. "I didn't know if you'd come."

He took the seat next to her. "Always, Lily." He raised his glass of sherry and she met his.

Silence fell over them momentarily as they swirled their glasses before Severus spoke. "I'm glad owled me, but I sense there's something bothering you."

Lily averted her eyes. She couldn't stand his critical gaze. "Not here," she said softly.

"Tom," Severus called to the bartender, "a room please."

Lily could tell Tom was unsure, but he took galleons from Severus and provided them with a key and the remaining bottle of sherry.

Once in the room, Severus waved his wand at the door, enchanting the door from eavesdroppers. Lily sat in a cushy armchair by the fire and Severus joined her, placing the bottle on the table between them.

"Now, what's this about, Lily?" he said. His eyes penetrated her forehead.

Her eyes shot up to meet his. "Get out of my head, Severus," she demanded, and he immediately withdrew.

"You can't ask me to meet you at a bar in the middle of the night and not give me an explanation," he said exasperated. "It's been _years_ , Lily."

"I know," she whispered, averting her eyes once again. "I just had to get away."

"So you call the man you haven't spoken to since Hogwarts?" he said. "That makes no sense. We haven't spoken since fifth year."

"After you called me a Mudblood," she reminded him .

He looked as though he wanted to retort, but thought the better of it. "You're right," he said. It wasn't an apology; just a fact.

Lily took a long sip from her snifter, savoring the taste before deciding to swallow and speak. "We got in a fight," she said, "and I walked out."

"I had wondered," he admitted. "However, that doesn't explain why you asked me here."

"Well," she said, pouring herself another glass, "you're the only one who won't tell me to go home to him."

He grinned and let her pour him a second glass as well. "Ah, so that's your motive. Well then, tell me what the arrogant bastard did this time."

"He's just not there," Lily said, warming her glass in her hands. "Every minute is spent at the shop or with Sirius or helping the Or—" She cut herself off, horrified of what she was saying and whom she was saying it to.

"Lily, I know you're in the Order of the Phoenix," Severus said calmly. "How could I not? You and Potter and Black being so pure and good, at least in the eyes of Dumbledore. I was always the evil one."

She studied him for a moment and her eyes flitted to his cloaked wrist. "You're one of them, aren't you?" She met his eyes but they gave nothing away—no guilt, no remorse.

"What other choice was there?" he said spitefully and then he softened. "You know you were the only light in my life."

"What choice was there?" she repeated. "Don't you blame me for this, Severus Snape. There is always a choice between what is right and what is easy."

"Easy! HA!" He was shouting now, and the grip on his glass was deadly. "You think being branded for life is easy? You think killing innocent people is _easy_?" He stood and threw his glass in the fireplace, where it shattered, and Lily cowered away. "You know better than _anyone_ that my life has been anything but _easy_ , Lily Potter."

"You're right," she said, rising to her feet to meet him. "Your life has been incredibly difficult, Severus. And until recently I would've said you had truly risen to the occasion, but seeing you like this…seeing the side you've chosen, I don't like the person you've become, and I don't think your mother would either."

"Well, Lily, lucky for me, my mother is dead," he spat. "And as for you, since when is it any of your concern the person I've become? You lost that privilege the moment you slipped that pretty little ring around your finger and sentenced yourself to a life of misery with James Potter."

"Fine, I'll just go back to my miserable life with him then!" she shouted, looking around for the jacket that she had left at home. "Don't know why I fooled myself into thinking you still cared about a pathetic Mudblood like me anyway."

She turned to leave and he caught her wrist. She spun back and found herself pulled against his chest. His lips caught hers. It was swift and fleeting and left Lily dizzy from something more than the sherry.

"I will _always_ care about you, Lily," Severus said just loud enough for her to hear. "Now, go back home to your husband."

She stepped away from him and looked up at him as tears rolled down her face. She wished that she could find something to say but couldn't, so she turned quickly and disapparated, hoping that something she had said would stick with him, that something could still change the man Severus Snape had become.


End file.
